my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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