i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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