All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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