I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize