shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
