Don't you send me to vm
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
