fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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