I'm lost and stupid without you.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
