Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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