My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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