i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
two words...techno handjob
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
