I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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