You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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