I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
