But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
