You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I enjoy the company of your penis
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