then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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