I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
