So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i need some magic done to my vagina
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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