ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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