operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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