Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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