I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
