I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
