tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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