Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
