haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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