The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
