You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
