When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
