from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
and she was petting her beer can
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
