I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
