you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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