sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
