would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize