sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
