Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
