Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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