i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
