your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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