she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
