3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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