So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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