Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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