How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You need Xanax blowdarts
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
