They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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