She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
