Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
