I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
im holly from the hills drunk
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
