i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
lets start a swedish sibling band together
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
