He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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