i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize