So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
