found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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