i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
