we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize