You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
