i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
