oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
